Problem: I want to marry someone who is the same gender as me.
Solution: This solution is in several steps
1. Get your name legally changed to a name which generally applies to the opposite gender (e.g. Robert→Felicia or Mary→William). You'll only have to use this name on official documents.
2. Take a vacation in Belgium or the Netherlands.
3. Get married there (using your new name, of course).
4. Return to the United States.
5. File your taxes jointly. Apply for credit cards jointly. Live generally as a married couple would.
Paperwork rarely asks for gender, just marital status. If ever challenged, you can say, "I am William. This is Mary. We are married. Here is our Marriage Certificate." If you're careful to avoid indicating gender, there is no way to prove you're not a married man and woman without somebody getting naked. If there's any chance people are trying to prove what gender you are, never use a public restroom or locker-room.
Problem: My roommate and I argue over which way the toilet paper should be hung.
Solution: Use my chindogu.