I once promised to expound my wimpy liberal views and why they have nothing to do with hugging

• homeless people
• trees
• gay/lesbian/bisexual/trans-gender/trans-sexual couples/individuals/cohabitators/communes

Perhaps today is the day.

Usually when I'm going to say something that ticks people off, I wimp out and deprecate it from the beginning by saying "Don't get me wrong, I am Mr. Bleeding-Heart-Liberal..." This probably ticks good liberals off because it is patronizing and the next thing I say makes me sound like a total hypocrite. Usually I sound something like this: "Don't get me wrong, I am Mr. Bleeding-Heart-Liberal, but I tell you, X is ruining America!"

Okay, deprecation made.

Without further ado, my indefensibly liberal views:

1. Healthcare should be nationalized.
2. There should be no death penalty.
3. We should only have wars about stuff that at least sounds right like stopping genocidal world conquest.
4. Getting legally married is the least nasty thing I think gay people ought to have the right to do.

My crummy rationalizations:

1. It's not like I want private healthcare to be illegal or something, I just don't think it's right that I'm paying taxes to supposedly benefit myself and others, and what I get is 37 cent first class mail and a kick-butt freeway system.
   We do have free clinics, but this is not universal health. Here in Los Angeles, we're having a real crisis and part of this is because these types of clinics are funded by counties, not the federal government.
   What's the point of living in society instead of out in the wild? It's because of all the advantages we get in a group. Because I live in this country random jerks can't just break my legs and I can sue people who try to con me out of my money. That's the whole point. We're not a bunch of gibbering apes anymore.
   I understand the conservative no-hand-outs view on most things; if you don't work (or, apparently, work at a good enough job) you don't deserve certain services. But saying that if you're one of the five percent of employable people without a job, then you don't deserve to not get pneumonia is just sick. Even if your name is Republican Blackheart, what about those lazy people's children? What the heck did they do?
2. It boils down to this. When you're a death penalty proponent, you have to be saying "Some people are going to have to fall through the cracks (i.e. die), but it's worth it." I just can't say that. Even Bush doesn't really believe that no innocent person has ever or will ever die at the goverment's hands.
   It's not because I'm some wimp and I don't want thugs to die. It's just that I wouldn't trust the judicial system to tell me if O.J. Simpson killed somebody, so why would I want to put my life in their hands?
   On the other hand... I do believe in corporal punishment. I think prison should suck really bad, but last less time. It's just more effective in every way. It makes a better deterrent for those who want that. It's more punitive, for those who want that. It's cheaper for those who want that.
3. Don't look at history. We did get where we are today by picking fights, but now that we're here, why should we keep doing it?
   Look. I would have fought in World War II. I probably would have fought in the Civil War. But, every other war we've had gets kind of murky. We are the superpower. When we pick on other countries, it's not like being the bully at school anymore. We've achieved fully armed adult mugger status. There's just no reason to throw your weight around when people's lives are at stake. I'm not whining about attacking Iraq or Afghanistan; I've done enough of that by now. I'm talking about the weird wars. Like
   • We don't like cocaine.
   • We make cocaine use illegal.
   • We make cocaine refining and selling illegal.
   • We start giving money to Columbia to burn down Coca plantations.
   • We start giving money and weapons to Columbia to shoot down planes that are suspected of containing cocaine.
   Regardless of what you think of the previous steps, it's that fourth step and after that seems pretty un-sporting. We're rich. If we offer enough money, there's not much we can't entice another government to do. We shouldn't be telling them to kill people who are doing things that we just see as immoral...
4. First off, I'm not saying gay people are nasty. I'm saying they have the right to do all kinds of things that I say are nasty. If you want to know what I think is nasty, you're reading the wrong kind of webpage.
   It's mysterious to me that this is an issue. Morally, I find a thirteen-year-old marrying a sixty-year-old a lot creepier than two guys getting married. The former is currently legal. If you don't want "immoral" marriages to be legally respected, stop people from marrying for money or to impress their parents.
   I'm even religious! I even think that marriage is between people of opposite sex within my religion (though several Hebrew kings show that it may need not be between one man and one woman). What spiritual union and legal status have to do with one another is a mystery to me. If a guy wants to wear a dress and have a ceremony, how can I have a problem with this? It's none of my business.